The NFL: Is the player suspension policy broken? Or just a reflection of the values we hold as a society?

An article in the Huffington Post outlines some of the idiotic rules and regulations the National Football League (NFL) has when it comes to punishing players for off the field behavior. To paraphrase, Ray Rice, who is popularly regarded as a superstar, received a 2 game suspension for knocking his partner out and dragging her around a hotel on video (trigger warning on the link). Other star athletes around the league have been suspended for an entire season for testing positive for marijuana. The punishment for a drug that is rapidly being decriminalized is eight times has harsh as beating a women in the eyes of the NFL.

I think it’s easy to say that the system is messed up. But we as Men in the Movement have to go deeper. We have to understand why this is a reality so that we can enter into conversations about gender based violence with other men. This is a perfect example of how we can use relatable “man topics” to reframe messed up realities in our society.

In this case,
it’s clear that the NFL is a patriarchy. A vast majority of power is held by men. Heterosexual white men. When this is basically inarguable, we can eliminate a lot of derailing tactics in these conversations. This is great news for holding a conversation about gender. If all the power in the NFL is held by men who are a product of our society, then the punishments can be viewed as a reflection of what men in our society tend to value.

And in this case, it is clear that men value keeping the game “clean” two to eight times as much as addressing issues such as domestic violence, which puts other people’s lives, mostly women’s lives, in real, physical and emotional danger.

If we remain silent on these types of stories, it perpetrates the idea that domestic violence is acceptable. When I reflect on my experience, I wonder how different I would have viewed things if more men in my life took a level-headed outrage to domestic violence. If it were the 15 to 21 year old me that heard this story, I KNOW I would have been more passionately upset that a player cheated the game using drugs than I would if they were suspended for domestic violence. And I would be confident in saying that is the norm for men in our society.

I know better now. We know better now. And with that knowing comes the responsibility to stand up and say something. And there will be plenty of times to bring it up during a 22-week long season of football.